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Friendship

For those tired of the usual "friendship" poems, here is a touch of
reality.

When you are sad ... ...
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum-sucking
bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue ... ...
I'll try to dislodge whatever's choking you.

When you smile ... ...
I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared ... ...
I will tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried ... ...
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to
quit whining.

When you are confused ... ...
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick ... ...
Stay away from me until you're well again, I don't want whatever you
have.

When you fall ... ...
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

I pledge till the end.